Well there you guys are….I thought I lost you all for like 2 years.  Yeah yeah yeah, as at least 2 of the 4 followers I currently have will point out, I kinda forgot to keep writing.  No one tells you that when you have a toddler, and then that toddler drives you to have another baby….that you life gets a little complicated.  So without pointing fingers and saying who did what to the when and why I may or may not have changed the title of my blog, let’s just dive into the fun.  Oh yeah, I also had a son in August of 2013, his name is August….no comments please.

As I’ve spent the last two years really figuring out how to be a parent, how to start traveling with my new job, and how to keep sanity in check, a few funny stories have come up from both day to day life with my children as well as those random 200 new friends that I make on every flight.  With enough content to fill up a blog post a day, I figure I’d share some of those stories and hopefully keep you entertained with my journal of experiences that range from smelly poop stories….to things that my kids do to make us laugh.

I’ve opted out of adding in music to every post as I find that slows down the process.  I do promise at least one bullet point or numbered list per post for several reasons :

a. ) it makes it easier to write without worrying about fussy grammatical people correcting my run on sentences.

2.) It makes it much funnier when you jump from kid issues to traveling people issues to random 80’s references.

and

d.) it takes up a lot more room in the post, so like Courier New in grade school, I only gots to write so much to still get credit for the minimum page count.

That being said, I don’t want to pull the proverbial writing muscles in this first post so I’ll end with a short story from this evening.  Please don’t expect chronological order on these stories going forward, it’s just not realistic as my wife will tell you that when I say “just the other day”, it could span back 6-9 months.

As we enjoyed our nightly ritual of dinner, smashing of food on our faces, and then bathing as quickly as humanly possible, my daughter decided to use one of my common phrases just to let me know she is listening.  As we sat down to the first of many pre bed books, she told me that she had to first go to her brothers room to get her baby.  Now my daughter calls all small toys babies, so when this comment is made, we have no idea as to what she may be referring.  She has started naming her babies, but at the same time, she has continued to name some of them the same name over and over.  One is called Sofia, another is Sofia the baby, and one is call Sheriff Callie.  There is obviously a pattern emerging from her obsession with Disney Junior, but I digress as the real point is that it is literally impossible to know what baby she may or may not be talking about.

As I sat in her room for her imminent return, I started to say, “Cici, where are you?”, and “Cici, are you coming back?” I then heard a response that I so regularly would curse my coworkers for as I wait impatiently for them to come to a meeting.

“Just a minute Daddy.”  Now this may not be such a big deal to some of you, but when your 2 and a half year old as clear as day tells you to “wait your damn turn”, you know you’re in trouble.  I mean I use this phrase a lot.

“Daddy, I wanna show you this.” ….   “Just a minute sweetie.”

“Daddy, Auggie touched my doll.” …. “Just a minute hun.”

“Daddy, I pooped and made Minnie underpants sad” …. “Just a minute and your mom will be in there.”

It just goes to show you that it’s never to early to watch out how and what you say, and better yet how people will then use it against you.  So while I may have made you folks wait roughly 2 years, or 1,052,000 minutes, remember that it only takes a 2 and a half year old that long to get some sass and throw it back in your face.  I leave you with one of my favorite new video series that remind us just how fun our conversations will get.

-the traveling “I just got A-list preferred for a year and I’m loving it” daddy