Jermaine Stewart – We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off  (This is one of my favorite 80’s songs, wait for the refrain)

*Reminder, if you read this blog on a computer, a smartphone that works with flash, or using iSwifter on your iPad, you can listen to the song while you read.  You should see a little play button at the top. Still working on the ability to play on any device without paying money.

No one should be making any references between the title of the song I’m listening to and the title of the post…..but it’s pretty hilarious if you can figure out the reference. So we’re into the second trimester (36%), and I’d like to talk about how uncomfortable it is for a guy to talk about pregnancy with 3 women in the room.  So as to not make all the other males reading this blog feel as uncomfortable as I did, I’ll just focus on two things that I think are hilarious.

1.) Lady Doctor Office layouts: So when you first show up, you already feel like every woman in the waiting room hates you.  They don’t want you to be there as much as you don’t want to be there.  So then they call your wife’s name, and you of course follow not knowing what else to do, and you feel like again, “I shouldn’t be here, please don’t slap me.”  You then watch your wife get weighed, which I’m sure she just loves, and then they walk you into those awkward little exam rooms whose layout drives me crazy. Your wife hops up on a really uncomfortable bench, sometimes pantsless, where you then wait for an inordinate amount of time with no update as to when your doctor is going to burst in.   Oh, and where do YOU get to sit?  They have ever so carefully laid out the floor plan to where the “visiting bench” is right in view of what many people would refer to as “the business”.  On my first visit, I promptly moved my chair out of the bleacher seat view so that I was behind my wife, but now next to all the ridiculous looking tools and stirrup covers advertising HPV vaccines.  I tell you it’s set up to drive us mad.  Either way, maybe when I retire I’ll offer up my organizational services to change a future generation of uncomfortable fathers.

2.) Baby Stories from your mother in law…..beware: This is really just a quick note that you need to watch out sometimes who you end up with at the end of a family dinner.  If the ratio of female to male is 3 to 1, be ready to hear things like “At least breast pumps today are advanced, back in my day you be pumping this one and milk would be shooting the other way out of this one.”  Thank you 2 bottles of red wine, you won this round.

I actually finished this one a couple of days ago and just got distracted at work, but be sure I’ll be catching up this weekend with a second post.  Actually, correction, if I don’t die running the half marathon with my pregnant wife, I’ll write an update.  Have a great weekend folks, GO CARDINALS!